A victim mentality… bless or burden?

We all probably recognise situations in our lives where we feel victimised. By ourselves (making the wrong choices), by others (your boss claiming your succes) or by circumstances (a car accident for example). Bad things happen in life. That’s the reality and there is not so much we can do about it, is there? The only choice we have is the choice how to deal with these setbacks. Do we get stuck in it? Or do we move further?
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What women find most challenging about breaking the glass ceiling

The biggest challenge lives in ourselves!

Since the glass ceiling was established in the eighties, many things have improved on gender parity, equal opportunities… leading to women breaking through the glass ceiling. There are many initiatives today to make the world see the value of having a good mix of both man and women in the top of organizations. On governmental level we see legislation, expecting organizations to have a minimum quota of female leaders in their board. Not just in the US. In Holland it should be at least 30% (2016), in the UK 25 %, in Norway 40%.

Our real challenge in breaking through the glass ceiling

In that same world we see the high potential women, ready to break through the glass ceiling. Sometimes frustrated or at least irritated they are wasting time, waiting and wondering how to work around that glass ceiling. We have become very strong, independent individuals, hard working, looking for challenges. Doing things on our own. Looking for help…. But I believe, most of the time, not asking for help. This is probably one of the most challenging parts of breaking through the glass ceiling! We can’t do it on our own!… and maybe the glass ceiling is something that mainly exists  inside of us…more then it is around us.

In succesfull organizations there are sponsorship programs for high potentials (male and female). Having a sponsor, being your mentor, coach, mirror… sometimes kicking you …. makes you grow and succeed, attracting the attention from topmanagement. We seem to accept this… and embrace this! And why not… it’s helping us and the organization. We learn a lot and give a lot. It’s a win-win. Actually it’s a win-win-win… also the sponsor will benefit here, since he/ she is very much visible in the organization, sharing in your successes! And meanwhile also growing in his/ her own talents/ skills and carreer.

Is it enough?

Do we need legislation to help us breaking through the glass ceiling? Is a quota system helping us? Have we become a ‘political correct’ number in organizations, being promoted to the top…. “Just for show”…. As critics say? Or is there more to it?

Those critics come from women as well. We rather be promoted on our own merit and the skills we would bring to the board to add value. Not because of some law. Of course, no one can disagree with this. We all want to be acknowledged for who we are and the value we add to the world. So…what is happening here? We know we have the skills, done the hard work, feel the passion for what we are doing, are great in it. Looking for help…even ‘till today we find many examples around of women hitting the glass ceiling, not being able to break through it. And now, even when we are getting help from the government by a law… we feel we shouldn’t be happy about it, because other peoples opinions might say we got the job …’just because we are a woman and because of legislation’.??? Do we really believe in this ? Would there be any government in the world working on this legislation purely for the sake of promoting women to the top? Don’t you think there is more to it? That democraphics might play a role? (after all, roughtly 50% of the working population is female). That we do play an important role in economics? Yes, we are part of statistics… so what?

Recent figures  (UK) show that companies with more women on their boards were found to out-perform their rivals with a 42 % higher return in sales, 66 % higher return on invested capital and 53 % higher return on equity. (http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/media-centre/news/letter-to-businesses ).

Why are we not celebrating these developments? Is it because when these ‘external’ boundaries for breaking through the glass ceiling are taken away… there is no excuse left to use? That from that moment on… the only thing that is keeping us back to reach our potential… is in ourselves?

 

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The glass ceiling… an ancient perspective

I remembered this beautifil story I heard about 10 years ago. It was (one of many) told by a native Yaqui Indian Lench Archuleta while I visited his place in Arizona. The things he showed me during my stay are of a whole different caliber….( you should check out his site: www.windspiritteaching.com) .

He told me this story…. his story about the jumping flee:

The jumping flee

When I was about 13-14 years old, I realised that there was a meaning for me in life. And in the culture I come from, we listened to the elder people. So my grandfather had taken an important place in my life. Everytime he would tell his stories you could hear a needle fall. Everybody would listen to him, listening to his words of wisdom.

So, there I was, a little boy, wondering about the world around me.

One day, I went to my grandfather and told him that I would like to found out how to best serve the people.

My grandfather looked at me and said: “Come on and follow me.” And on our way outside he would took a jar and brought it outside. We walked around for a little bit while he was looking around for something. He suddenly bent over and took something, picked it up and put it in the jar and put the lit on it.

-I said: “What’s that?”

He said:”That’s a flee, a jumping flee.”

-“Very nice…. What do they do?”

“They jump. They jump, that’s what they do. They jump because its their nature. I want to show you….”

It’s the nature of the jumping flee to jump. So after a while the flee started to jump in the jar. And everytime he jumped he would hit his head on the lit. And even a jumping flee realises after a while that with every jump he would hit his head on the lit. So it stopped for a minute or so and all of a sudden he came to the realisation that he would hit his head when jumping to the lit. And he thought: “Wait a minute, this will give me a huge headache… I have to jump because that is what I do. I am a jumping flee but it really doesn’t feel good to hit my head.” So he thought about his situation a little bit longer and then he started jumping just a little bit less high than the lit on the top of the jar.

And I took note of that. And my grandfather looked at me and made sure that I noticed to take note of that.

Then he bent over and took the jar and took the lit of the jar. And what do you suppose would happen…..?

The flee kept jumping but it only got that far from the top of the jar. It only jumped up that high from the top of the jar…

I said:” What happened?”

Grandfather said: “What is happened to that flee is what has happened to most people of this planet. It has become conditioned. People are very easy to condition, like this jumping flee.” He said:” Most of the people are walking around in a jar. Walking around and jumping in their jar. Surrounded by glass with no lit on it and they try to figure out how to get out of there. They try to figure out how they can break out of this jar and they simply don’t know how.”

“That’s the situation you are in. That’s the situation most people are in. And if you want to talk about how you can best serve people, it’s showing them how to get out of the jar.”

And there my learning started, a start of a wonderful proces.

This story gets to me every time I speak with people who somehow have given up on themselves. They were as the jumping flee … hitting their head… and after a while adjusting to whatever they bumped into… or even worse: giving up…. blaming others for the position they are in.  I was one of them… but fortunately I found a way out, trusting myself, building my (long lost) selfesteem and in a way started my life’s journey to empowerment. A journey that will never end hopefully. It’s all these encounters with people like Lench, and other great and succesful people that make me realise WHY I want people to have their breakthroughs… to fulfill their highest potential.

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Learning the law of attraction… what we didn’t get to hear

How powerfull we are… when doing the right things! Try this out!

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Self image…. with a twitch

Is it just the people (man and women) with a low selfesteem who have given their input on the video below?

How do you deal with that little voice in your head with non-supporting believes?

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Selling your soul… or setting yourself free?

One of the comments in my blog tells us that the glass ceiling is not just a women thing. It’s the women who think they are the only ones being stopped just before the top. Reality shows the same struggle is part of the opposite sexe.

Reality also shows it’s not something from modern times. I found these lyrics: 16 tons… please take some time to listen to it and to comprehend what is said.

If there is one thing we always have, it’s the ability to choose. To choose how we feel about ourselves, to choose what we want out of life. I know… what if the circumstances are telling us differently? Can we still choose? I believe we can… otherwise we will let us be victimised by circumstances, or by other people. As a victim, we don’t take responsibility for ourselves. Will life change if we do stand up for ourselves?If we can look at ourself in a positive way? Once we grow our selfesteem, we will get a different life. A different carreer. A different perspective.

The limitations we feel… are all part of ourself! You don’t have to sell your soul (to “the company store”) to fulfill your potential!

More on this later on. Would love to hear your reaction!

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No glass ceiling for women in India

Would you expect the women in the more traditional countries in the world would have to catch up with dealing with the glass ceiling, it’s surprising how the women in India deal with… the lack of the glass ceiling! It doesn’t excist there, because the women themselves don’t seem to make an issue out of it…. and therefore, it doesn’t excist.

Please read this article!

There is a work-life balance challenge, and yes, the man do have to get used to their ambitious partner. But… does it have any relationship with what we see as our glass ceiling?

What do you think we can learn from it? As I see it… if we don’t make it into a problem… why should other people do so?

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Not strictly for women only

Since the ‘glass ceiling’ has become part of reality for many women, the vocabulary has extended.

There is also a glass cellar… and the article below tells us it is not only the women in the company who fight this irritating concept. Or is it more than a concept?

Please read this:

3 Steps to Break Through the Glass Ceiling

By Roger Konopasek

Your Glass Ceiling May Look Like Comfy Job Why You Should Get Up And Out When Things Look Rosy!

A strange thing happened on Jake’s journey to management Nirvana: things were looking peachy for years only to end up on a dead track. Bright, young and engaged Jake was talent spotted at a local office of a global logistics company and found himself posted to the national HQ of the company by age 26. Not bad, the small town boy was going places in his management career. After a few years of patient toiling he was posted to the regional HQ, things were kind of falling into place. If he just worked hard enough at his job Jake’s management career would surely stay on track! But something funny happened: Hard as he toiled, managed and delivered predictably consistent results, even in tough times, one year followed the next and Jake still found himself in the same chair located in the same corner of the same office in regional HQ. Unknowingly Jake had bumped against the invisible Glass Ceiling. He was going nowhere…

Decoding The Invisible Glass Ceiling Legions of managers are out there today, right at this very moment, ensnared in the seemingly invisible web of the Glass Ceiling. Try as they may, they just can’t figure out what went wrong with their career, why they are not getting past this invisible barrier. They have worked diligently, cooperated, contributed and delivered and yet, here they are: stuck… their name is not hot property anymore, the promotions pass them by, everyone is nice and friendly enough to them but no one really tells them why they are going nowhere, it’s as if they are stuck in a sensory deprivation chamber watching through a hole in the wall as the world passes them by.

3 Steps To Remove The Glass Ceiling From Your Management Career Step 1. Statistics Apply ? Why People Go From Young Hero To Being Invisible Think of an old fashioned hierarchical organization as a pyramid. There is plenty of space at the bottom of the pile. Most people who join a company at the bottom of the hierarchy pile have one goal in mind: find a job & pay the bills. Even one ounce more energy & determination than the rest will make you stand out from the crowd… you will be noticed easily and given your first leadership role fairly fast, for in the land of the blind the one-eyed is king. But don’t be fooled, far from being an ideal pyramid shape a hierarchical organization looks more like a funnel: broad at the bottom suddenly tapering into a thin end. This means: there is much less space at the top and the air gets much thinner much faster than people believe. Your natural good looks, affable charm and ability to deliver predictable results will not get you past this sudden narrowing of the management strata.

Step 2. Don’t Become A Legend In Your Own Mind Blessed with a few initial management successes and promotions many a young manager gets excited about his/her abilities. Far from understanding that these initial successes owe as much to their personal ability as to the fact that they achieved easy wins being the one-eyed kings in the land of the blind (it isn’t hard to succeed in an environment populated by individuals who just want to pay the bills) these managers actually start believing in their personal prowess and that they are irreplaceable…. WRONG The moment you become a legend in your own mind: “I am good, what would they do without me, etc” a predictable psychological mechanism sets in: The egotist mind now has a delusion it needs to defend at all costs: “Only I can do this, they need me, etc…” which starts excluding all other possible realities and opinions.

You have trapped yourself in a cycle of having to prove yourself right. How many times have you sat in a meeting and heard Mr. X or Mrs. Y ramble on and belabor a silly point with only one intention in mind: prove themselves right when everyone perfectly well knew they were wrong… Get over it: you are not perfect, you cannot know everything and in a world of geometric knowledge & technology expansion wanting to be ‘right’ is a one way ticket to disaster.

Step 3. Move-Move-Move From Company To The Next! Yes, this does contradict traditional wisdom. Words like loyalty, perseverance, staying power, etc start flooding our minds instantly: “My gosh, what will my CV look like! People will think I am a mercenary!”… Lets look at this from another angle: What is it that you really get paid for: results or hard work? Many long term employees of organizations have got it back to front: loyalty, hard work and obedience to the ‘corporate culture’ of their team characterize their thinking and actions… “I have sacrificed long years of my life in loyal, hard-working service to this company, don’t I deserve some recognition?” well, yes you do. If you have delivered results.

However, there is a strange correlation between long term loyalty, hard work and playing along with the corporate culture, it’s called inflexibility, lack of imagination and diminishing results because we get bogged down in the corporate politics. Wake up my loyal, long-suffering, sacrificial friends! No one is interested in your sacrifice! No one is interested in your Siren’s song of hard work and unrewarded loyalty! Everyone is only interested in: can you bring me a result! Are you fast, efficient, self driven and innovative!? All the qualities of speed, mental agility and willingness to deliver are crucially attached to your ability to change and taking on new challenges, instead of stagnating in an old pond you are like the rushing water of a waterfall: full of fresh oxygen, ideas, zest, power and energy to change things around you. That is what you will be paid for.

Talent search companies are taking a very clear look at CVs, one of the most important criteria is: have you been with a company for a long time (10 years or more)…then you might just have become a pond of stagnant ideas…. Too focused on adeptly sailing the political maze of your company and not innovative/disruptive enough to break old thinking patterns. Simply put: the employee is dead. Companies are looking for fresh thoughts, fresh solutions, individuals who are willing to stand up and deliver (and those companies who are not looking for such people won’t be in the game for much longer). Companies are looking for Co-Creators, emotionally mature individuals who know that there is only one reason to join a team: achieve results, learn, improve processes and take this fresh knowledge to the next position in which they can become a key catalyst for results.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Roger_Konopasek

It does make you wonder whether loyalty is a good thing? How loyal can you be to yourself if you are also loyal to your company? Are we loyal against all odds? And… because of that… it that what really keeps the glass ceiling alive?

Let me know! Please leave your comments.

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There is so much glass around us

Just when we think we understand the dynamics of the ‘glass ceiling’, I discovered there is more ‘glass’ surrounding us then expected. Just see this great video! Isn’t there some thruth in it?

Will we ever solve this issue? Please let me know how you experienced your ‘glass ceiling’, glass cliff or glass cellar!

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The glass ceiling: 25th anniversary

Although results show improvement over 25 years… it’s still a topic for many women… and man on the working place.  Is it something to celebrate this anniversary?

How do you experience this phenomena? Does it still excist?.. or do we use it as an excuse for our own incompetency?

Follow this link for the article… and let me know what you think/ feel about this subject!

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